Yay I’m back to writing after a week off! Had the greatest time in Colorado, and super energized to get back to the sweet hustle. AND now let’s start this post with a checklist:
- People expect you to just get it.
- Friends can always count on you to come through (aka the down b**tch).
- You’re considered very laid back.
- No one’s really seen you sad
- You being upset is too shocking to handle
- You’re expected to take care of a lot of things.
- You feel bad saying no.
- You easily feel sorry and don’t hesitate saying so mindlessly.
- You’re not the first person people come to get suggestions from.
- People assume you forgive easy.
Chances are you’re too nice
If you’ve agreed to three or more, chances are you’re too nice. I’m nodding my head as I write this, so we’re in this together! And, before I get started, here’s a disclaimer — it’s not a bad thing!
“Nice people finish last”
While the idea of “nice people finish last” has always been up for debate, the key thing to get out of it is being nice can become an issue when personal goals and needs get jeopardized.
So how do we deal with this?
- Write down your feelings. Often times we need time processing what’s in our head, and most of us are visual learners. If something bothers us, writing it down helps us address it better.
- Put yourself first. Keep in mind that being absent at times is ok and is better than being invisible.
- Figure out what makes you happy. This takes time (trial and error as well) to process as well.
- Eye contact (whenever possible). Making strong eye contact makes it easier to relay your honest feelings and make the other person seem less overwhelming.
- Remember that saying no is ok. It’s great to be considerate of how others feel, but careful not to let your decisions circle around that.
- Me time. The more time we spend knowing ourselves, the more self confidence we build.
I’m so excited for these tips, baby steps go a long way!. Here’s to niceness!
“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” Paulo Coelho